00:00 You’re listening to the live happier, longer podcast, episode 48
00:15 Welcome to the live happier, longer podcast we’re your host Molly Watts and Angela McDade. We are here to help you build the five habits of happier longer life and to create your habit mindset starting now.
00:29 Hey, Angela. Hey Molly. How are you? This fine Sunday. Well, yeah. Okay. Dare we say it. It’s raining. Yeah. Wow. Bummer. Welcome to Oregon in the fall. Yeah, definitely feeling a little fallish, right? I know I have it. Which is good, but still. It is, but when we get that first rain. It’s the rain. Yeah. It just is always like, Oh shoot, I don’t think it’s going to stick around right now. I think we’re going to get, I don’t think it’s really the where the rain staying forever. That kind of comes at the end of October. Then you know your, but the rain makes Oregon so green. Okay. Yes, you’re right. Good stuff.
01:16 This week on the show, we’ve been talking about our five daily habits. We’ve been diving in and we did. We’d done a daily habit, number one, move daily, habit number two, learn. And this week we are on daily habit number three. Share. Yes. And I think first we should probably explain what we mean when we say share cause I don’t know that it’s necessarily, it’s probably the hardest one to just understand from the word. Yeah. And it’s not about sharing as an being generous with right things, right? It’s being generous with yourself. Yeah. It’s, it’s about sharing your life with others really. And it’s about being engaged, staying connected and truly working on how you relate to your friends, family, and community. So why do we bother including this in our five daily habits? Uh, well first and I think first and foremost, we should say that it’s a very significant problem in terms of older adults in that loneliness and isolation.
02:23 Uh, in fact, I think even more so than mobility and dementia, the percentages that we talked about there, 34% of people in a poll that was done by the university of Michigan in 2017 on healthy aging found that 34% of adults ages. And these were adults ages 50 to 80, I believe, yeah. And you know, you think of an 80 year old, right? You cannot think well. Yeah. But 50 year old! Yeah. That’s quite unsettling. Yeah. So 34% reported feeling lonely, lonely, and 27% reported feeling isolated. So, you know, an average of around a third or 30%, people are dealing with this problem and definitely it is something that is important as we age. It’s important to because research shows that chronic loneliness can impact older adults’ memory, their physical wellbeing, their mental health, and ultimately their life expectancy, which is why it’s one of our daily habits.
03:33 Because to increase longevity, yeah. You have to live long, right. You have to live longer. Yeah. So loneliness and isolation, the studies have shown that it can be more harmful than a cigarette habit of 15 cigarettes a day. Yeah. In terms of your morbidity, so super important and, and something also that people, I think fear about getting older is becoming, uh, isolated and lonely. Research has shown that loneliness may have a physical as well as an emotional impact. For example, people are who are lonely, have frequently have elevated systolic blood pressure and loneliness is a unique, risk factor for symptoms of depression. Loneliness and depression have a synergistic of adverse effect on wellbeing in both middle-aged people and older adults as well. Yeah. So I know people who like are younger like us in their forties or fifties, you know, like I said, like us in our forties or fifties, it doesn’t matter that you’re the one that’s in your forties and I’m in my fifties, but whatever.
04:36 Um, but like us, you know, we, we think it’s really not something we need to worry about. Yeah. Right. I mean, we’re busy. I have a job. You still have a kid in school and you’re busy going to his all the school thing. Right. And you know, we both have friends. We’ll at least have you. We have each other. There are some more right there. Just a couple. But I would say, and I would say by and large, it’s true. We are not, we don’t have to work on this as hard right now. Yeah. Just because there’s just a natural, there’s built into our lives that this part, but I would suggest that having a plan and being mindful of the habit now, especially if you’re consider yourself like I do, I think as you as well at introvert or you suffer from shyness, uh, you’re going to want to start practicing different social interactions because life can change very quickly.
05:38 And without building the habit of share, you can very quickly become isolated and, or lonely. I, I was thinking about this, you know, my sister in law who’s just over 50 went through a very traumatic divorce in, in the respect that she did not see it coming. Yeah. And it happened very quickly. And she actually is someone who does suffer from shyness. And she has really been remarkable in her just taking the actions, going out and doing things, you know, by herself in her own right. And I’m just so proud of her because it’s not easy for her. I know it’s not, but she understands that it’s really vital to, you know, to her to ultimately to not only living that happier, longer life, but really to her life expectancy. Yeah. And, and it really pushes you out of your comfort zone and Oh, for sure.
06:37 It’s really important to know that that may happen but do it anyway. Right. And the thing is that, like I said, those life changes as people age. Like I mean, losing a spouse, whether from divorce or otherwise or otherwise, that is a, is a major life event that again, you know, nobody wants to think about that wish about it or anything else. But having a, having the notion and the mindfulness ahead of time and really kind of thinking about a plan, well, if, what if this happened, how would I react? And understanding that holing up and becoming isolated yeah is going to be detrimental for you, really means you’re going to build up. You understand the importance of building that habit. And I know that people in our friend circle, there’s people that are facing job losses, empty nests, they’re having to move, you know, move away from family or friends.
07:36 So again, cultivating and understand it. It’s not always easy, right. In our, in midlife to like go. Yeah. I mean who hasn’t said I just, I have enough friends or I don’t, I don’t want to have to work at. Yeah. Cause I think getting a new relationship and I think that, that people forget that. Um, you know, when you talk about relationships as like dating and all of that kind of stuff, people talk about oh are they in a relationship, right. But having a friend is exactly the same. Right. You know, and I remember my kids having friends who were not good friends and you said, do you know if, if that was a boyfriend you would not let a boyfriend treat you like that. So don’t let a girl friend treat you like that either. So it’s very important that you think about relationships not only as a partner, but as a, you know, as friends, right.
08:40 You know, relationships are not just between, somebody you see as a life partner, but it’s everybody. Right? And it takes work to maintain those relationships. Absolutely. And, and we’re going to have some tips on, on how you do that in a bit too. So, because those, you know, it’s one thing to stay engaged and then it’s another thing to nurture friendships.
09:06 So, here are some things that could, as people age, uh, impact isolation and loneliness. Things that I hadn’t really thought about, but I mean, it makes sense. And we talked about this a little bit. So, number one here, we talked about a couple of weeks ago and move, and for obvious reasons, a person who experiences incontinence may be hesitant to leave their home and could become isolated, isolated. Yeah. Yeah. Because you’d afraid you’ll get caught off guard. Right? And so, and you know, and that’s, it’s a, it’s a problem for women, especially women that you know, that have had multiple children. But even like irritable bowel syndrome, right? All of these things that you just, you, it’s such a big issue that it can prevent you if you don’t know where you’re going and the setup of the place. It can make you just go, yeah, I’d just rather stay. I’ll just stay home. Right?
10:00 Um, and again, as we age, having undiagnosed or untreated hearing problems, people may avoid social situations and because they, uh, have a difficult time communicating and they get embarrassed. Older adults may be at higher, higher risk. And we just talked about this for becoming socially isolated during the period after a family member, friend, or spouse, spouses passed away, uh, family caregivers. This is a, a twist on this, right? Family caregivers who are helping to care for an elderly loved one. And a lot of people in our age set right now are they, they call it the sandwich generation, where they’re caught between taking care of their kids and their older, older parents. Um, they’re, they’re, they’re most focused on the social wellbeing of the person they’re caring for, but then that can actually, caregiving itself can trigger a social isolation. Yeah. Because you’ve got so much going on looking after that person that you don’t have, you’re own care going on. Right.
11:05 Lack of adequate transportation is a primary cause for social isolation. I’m going to put the link in this in the show notes here because I just learned about this, uh, from my job recently, Gogo grandparent, Oh, have you heard this? No. It’s like, uh, well I think that they, they actually, use Uber and Lyft as the service providers, but they make the connection so that the grandparent doesn’t have to use the Uber app itself. They can just call a phone number. Okay. And you set up an account and they can just like Uber and Lyft, but they can, you know, and many, many adult, many seniors and many grandparents use Uber and Lyft just fine, but go grandparent is helping make that easier for people all the way around.
11:52 And lastly, older adults with a sense of purpose are less likely to succumb to the negative effects of social isolation, providing a sense of purpose, like hobbies and interests. Uh, that’s something that’s inherently social in nature, right? Yeah. And then a quick throwback to the blue zones. All of these older adults who don’t have a very distinct retire at this age, they continue to work and be part of their community throughout their older adult life, their whole lives, really, they never stop. Um, and that’s, uh, an, and I think that that, you know, we’ve talked about that before on the podcast, the whole idea, the notion that we used to have that we should retire and stop working, maybe wrong for us all overall. I mean, surely we want to cut back and, and, and reduce stress. And, and we shared the thing about, you know, the third act, you may stop this particular job, but then you, you fill that space with another very distinct purpose.
12:59 Right. You know, and there’s so many great opportunities there. Um, and volunteering is one way that you can certainly create that habit of share. It’s a great way for both the people around you, the community, and also for you. Yeah. For you, we’ve talked about the negative, that those were some of the negative impacts of, of loneliness and isolation in some, some ways that you can become isolated and lonely just by life circumstances. Um, but there’s a lot of, on the flip side of that, there’s a lot of positive benefits to socializing and to, I mean, human beings are social by nature. Yes. Are very, uh, you know, it, it’s really a part of our evolution and, uh, you know, because being a part of the tribe meant that you survived. Yeah. Right. If you were, yeah, the lone Wolf did not survive, not survive.
13:51 So, um, and, and there’s, but there’s some ways that it actually, benefits, your health and, not only your good physical and emotional health, but your cognitive function as well. So people who continue to maintain close friendships and find other ways to interact socially, live longer, as we’ve mentioned. Then those who become isolated. Relationships and social interactions even help protect against illness by boosting your immune system. Specific health benefits of social interaction in older adults include potentially reduced risk for cardiovascular problems, some cancers, osteoporosis and rheumatoid arthritis. This is all science stuff that, you know, drill down from different studies. Um, there are also potentially at a reduced risk for Alzheimer’s disease. And it’s actually one of the six pillars of from the Alzheimer’s organization is to maintain those relationships. Yeah. It lowers blood pressure and it, uh, people that stay active socializing are at a reduced risk for mental health issues such as depression.
15:03 Yeah. When we talk about loneliness and isolation, uh, there are some ways that, and what’s interesting about it is that it’s, uh, a problem that’s happening earlier and earlier. There’s a lot of talk about right now about how as connected as we are on the internet and social media, it’s actually creating a lot of isolation in our young people. Yet it’s a physical isolation, right? Which is not good for you. Right. And so, uh, as we age, it doesn’t get any easier. And there are some practical steps that you can take to fight back against loneliness. Um, if you’re feeling it right. And these came from, uh, seven different therapists and an article on inc.com that I’ll also link in our show notes. So, uh, the very first thing that you can do is practice small talk and we have another, uh, we have a great handout on the importance of small talk that we will as well provide in our show notes.
16:07 Um, and even though in the long run, too much small talk doesn’t feel great, uh, you know, and if you’re, if you’re keeping everything at small talk level for people that are feeling lonely, just getting that you know, you, that connection is a connection, right? Regardless of how deep as it is a connection. And if you don’t have any connections, that can just be a little speck of light, right? And it’s, and it takes practice. So you T you need to practice small talk with cashiers, other people that you encounter throughout your day. When you go into your favorite coffee shop, talking to the barista and making a simple comment about the weather or the music that’s playing, you know, it can decrease the loneliness normally if the, you know, and build your social network. Uh, and if you practice this small talk in a variety of different situations, it’s easier to start a conversation with people who you actually think you might want to become friends with.
17:04 Yeah. So, and, and we in that handout that we have, uh, there’s some really good practical tips on, on how to do that. Yeah. Um, and so this might sound counterintuitive, but number two is to get comfortable with your own company. So the goal of lonely people is often to escape their own company and the best foundation though, but, but like I said, counter-intuitive is to build a very comfortable relationship with yourself first. Right? So you really want to figure out if you’re just craving company to fill a void, right? Or when you’re alone or if you’re actually, uh, you know, isolating yourself. So, uh, you want to learn to enjoy your own company and some good ways to start would be like meditation, take going to a movie, reading, watching Ted talks or other things that will make you think or starting a gratitude journal. Right? So we’ve got one of those. Yes.
18:07 Number three is set reasonable expectations. I think this is super important because just like you mentioned, friendships require nurturing. Yeah. And in this day and age of instant gratification, a lot of times if things don’t just happen quickly where we think, Oh, they’re not meant to happen, then, which is, couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s been shown with friendships that as long as you’re mutually being kind to each other, we become friends with whoever we see most often. Yeah. So proximity and repetition are the key. So if you’re, if you continue going to the same places again and again, if you really follow that kind of routine and you see the same people eventually you can build friendships with those people. And it’s little things like, people who, like if you go to church and stuff like that, remember we said we would see a family. We never actually interacted with them, but we, saw they had their first baby and then they had their second baby, you know? And it’s just like you can, you can follow people’s lives and then you, you’ve made these connections and then you start asking about what’s happened in their life, what their kids are doing, and you know, so it’s by continually going into a place, right? It’s that repetition to, yeah. You start to make these connections.
19:25 For some of us it’s just going to an elementary school. Yeah. Days and days out, years in, years out. And suddenly all of a sudden your friends. Exactly. Along the same line as get to know your loneliness. So you can’t really solve your loneliness unless you first figure out why you’re lonely. You could be lonely, but just because your relationships that you currently have lack the depth or meaning that you, that you’d want or you feel like people, including your friends, don’t really know you. And it might be, uh, make sense for you to examine what’s in the way of you building that intimacy, right. So sometimes while it may sound contradictory, some of loneliness and isolation does require you to reflect on you and your own, you know, what you’re giving to those relationships. Right.
20:20 And I think this one, I love this step in its number five is reconnect with family. If you’re feeling lonely, your first impulse might be to go out and meet new people. But if you first go back and go to your family and consider how they’re, you know, how your extended family, you know, your immediate family, the relationships you have there, simple things like writing a letter, setting up a weekly phone call with a sibling, those small things and can have a real impact on your overall mood. Yeah. And they’re built in, right. I mean, you know, they’re your family. Yeah. And so, and some people have bigger families than others, so you have more resources. Right. But it’s, uh, you know, it’s a natural instead of just, I guess that the advice is that don’t always be looking. Yeah. Work with what you have, right? So sometimes, you know, just starting in your own there, there may be benefit to, uh, improving the relationship that you have right in your own home or right in your own family.
21:23 So this whole idea that maintaining good friendships takes effort is of course important, but it’s also important to understand that it’s very worthwhile. Um, the enjoyment and comfort that friendships can provide and the physical benefits, the life longevity benefits is huge. Right? And so it’s very important to make the effort. People often ask, what’s a healthy number of friends? And I don’t think we’ve, we were talking about it. We, we think we remember hearing a Ted talk at one point in time that five was kind of a magic number. Yeah. I’m not sure that there is a specific number, but I think the thing is, is the number is the quality. We have many acquaintances, right? But somebody who you can truly call a friend is that, that’s a different relationship, right? So it’s quality over quantity. Yeah. Really. And so, it’s good to, to, to cultivate a diverse network of friends and acquaintances, but you want to have a truly a few truly close friends that you know, that you can count on through thick and thin. Yeah. I think people often say, you know, I can count my good friends on one hand. Yeah. And that’s really the way it should be. Like the people that you know, you, you, if something happened that right, now, you need to call somebody up that it’s nice to have that handful of friends that you can go, that’s, that’s my go to. They’re mine. They’re my people.
22:53 We’ve talked about just how you might develop that friendship with people and, and mentioned that it’s harder in certain circumstances. Like people get dropped, you know, get to have to move and reestablish a whole new, I know about that. Yes, you do. Right. And so, and of course, when you move, it doesn’t mean that you’re just, especially in this day and age, right. You can keep up with those friendships long distance. Yeah. Certainly. Um, all of the technology that we have makes that easier, much easier. But that does not mean that you shouldn’t have new friendships and that you shouldn’t nurture friendships in your new place because that’s, that’s, you know, having your gotos right there. If something happens, you know, if you, if you needed something, you’re, you know, your mom and dad or your sisters in Scotland, they’re not going to be there to be able to help you.
23:43 So what are some new ways too that you can actually go out and meet people beyond just showing up in the same place all the time? And you know that obviously we’ve talked about that repetition and going to the same spot repeatedly is going to help, but you might find potential friends among people with whom you have worked or taking classes maybe, you enjoy chatting with at social gathering somebody else’s party potentially, or someone that you, share family ties with. Yeah. If there’s anyone that stands out in your memory as someone you’d like to know better, then reach out, ask mutual friends or acquaintances to share the person’s contact information, or even better to reintroduce you via text, and extend an invitation to coffee or lunch. Yeah. You know, I think people get nervous about this because they don’t, they fear rejection.
24:38 Yeah. Right. It’s like, it’s kind of scary to go say, Hey, do you want to go for coffee? But honestly, I mean, I, in my world, like if someone made that effort and reached out, I mean, would you, you know, you, of course, and it’s back to like, if you go for coffee and it’s not a nice natural thing, then you just don’t do it again. Right. You know? But if it is, then you may be, it may be the start of that if I had a really good relationship. Right. And that’s one of those things, persistence matters, right? You take the initiative rather than waiting for the invitations to come your way. And that I know. And that goes along for people that are in, in a dating situation too, right? It’s like you want to meet somebody but you don’t want to go on all the blind dates. well, you know, same thing. You want friends, you got to go and go find them. Yeah. And, and you may suggest plans a few times before you can tell if, if it’s something that you want to nurture, right? Yeah. Right.
25:39 So here’s some additional ways. Attend community events. So look for groups, clubs that gather around an interest or a hobby that you share. I think I’ve mentioned a, I know, I think we’ve mentioned in the show before, meetups. Yes. It’s a great, is a great place and it’s actually in our, in our, one of our pieces and it’s just a great, you can find meetups for, for anything. Yeah, just, I looked at it just the other day and saw one, and it was for speaking French and it was people of all levels. So if you show up and you can say, hello, my name is in French. There you go. Right. That’s great. And you’re going to speak with other people who can speak French and they’re your, or you’re wanting to learn more about, you know what I mean? It’s all of that. Community bulletin boards in newspapers, they’ll have, you know, group meetings and things like that. So that’s great places to look.
26:33 Um, volunteer. We’ve mentioned it a few times. Yeah. That, that’s truly how we became friends. And it was through volunteering in the classroom, a lot at the elementary school. Yes. But offer your time or talent at a hospital, a place of worship, a museum, a community center, a school, a charitable group. Um, the thing is, is that if you’ve got a, especially like if you’ve got a passion for a certain charity, you know, say like the Audubon society something where people are really, if you, if you feel very passionate about saving animals species and you go volunteer for the Audubon society, yeah. They get to meet other people and you’ve got something in common immediately. Right. Instantly. Right. You’ve got that shared interest, extend and accept invitations.
27:26 So we just talked about that, about not sitting around waiting for the invitations, but actually being the one that invites. But for goodness sakes, if you get the invite go right. Yeah. And we’ve mentioned it before. It gets difficult. It gets challenging. Sometimes you just don’t, it just, you just can’t be bothered. Right. It’s a habit and it becomes a really easy habit to say no too often and then, and then suddenly the invitation stop coming to, yeah. So take up a new interest. You know, we, there are so many things, again at the community college level, in groups, meetups, you know, don’t limit yourself to what you’ve done in the past. Think ahead and say, Hmm, what could I, you know, what might be interesting, just like you said, like there might be a whole meetup for people that are going around doing coffee tastings. Yeah. Right. And the thing with meetup, you can actually start at coffee tasting group. If there’s something that you think that would be kind of fun, but it would be even more fun to have other people who are interested in it. You can start a meetup. Right. I just think meetup is super cool. It is the case, I guess coffee tasting, we were talking about that when we were talking about learn weren’t we? But you it was that the same thing applies. It’s a new hobby or new habit. Yeah.
28:52 Join a faith community for, you know, for a lot of people that uh, they go to, especially when you’re going to a new community uh, joining a church or a religious or faith community is going to be cause that’s it. That’s a readymade community and community within a community. And lastly, we talked about this when we talked about our talk with Nanette Mutrie and the Scotland walking initiative is just go out and take a walk. Yeah. That’s one of the reasons like blue zones, the, it’s a part of the blue zones, lifestyle. Right. And when the blue zones can be, when a community gets to be blue zone certified, it’s because of their ability to walk around. Yeah. And uh, you know, grab your kids, grab your pet and, and while you’re out taking a walk, chat with neighbors, strike up a conversation head to a park. I know. And that small talk thing, like if you’re walking past your neighbor who’s working in the garden, you can comment and talk about their garden. You can find ways. You just have to take the step and take the initiative to start conversations. Right. And it’s important above all to stay positive. You’re not going to become friends with everyone you meet and uh, but maintaining a friendly attitude and demeanor can help you improve the relationships in your life that you have now. And it will sow the seeds of friendship with new acquaintances.
30:17 So to nurture friendships, this is pretty simple, right? I mean, it sounds like, I don’t even know. I, I like sometimes some of this stuff is real common sense. True. Yes. We always say that. It’s not like it’s not rocket science, but yeah, the common sense part of it, but still being reminded. Yeah. You sometimes just have to say it out loud. Yeah. So this is a to nurture your friendships, uh, be kind. I mean, and you know, it’s funny because I have in my, in my house, I have a, a sign in my family room that says be nice or go away. And while we were definitely taught it as children being reminded of it, and, and understanding that each friendship you have is an emotional bank account. That every act of kindness and expression of gratitude that you deposit into that account is a positive. You know, it goes onto the, the deposit line and every act of criticism or negativity goes into the withdrawal line. And you know, it’s why it’s important to nurture that in your friendships and you want to be at deposit person. Be a depositor. Yeah.
31:36 Um, listen, gosh, people, I mean, I think it’s a highly under rated, uh, the skill of listening, let the other person know that you’re paying close attention through eye contact. Uh, make comments when friends share details of hard times. Be empathetic. Uh, don’t give advice unless somebody asks for it. Yeah. Somebody just sometimes just need to offload and having somebody to listen is, is all you need. Right. This is something that, uh, we talked about just a little bit earlier is opening up, really looking at yourself and building image intimacy with your friends by opening yourself up, opening up about yourself, being willing to disclose personal experiences and concerned shows that your friends hold a special place in your life and it deepens your connection. And again, that’s that generally a much smaller group. Sure, yeah. People, well, we hope it is. You do get people share a lot about their life up and you’re like, Ooh, okay.
32:45 But, but other people have a real hard time being vulnerable and they don’t want to, they want to pretend like everything in their lives is just always on the picture perfect. Right? And you really can’t develop a true intimate friendships without being vulnerable yourself. Show that you can be trusted. This goes along with that, right? When somebody shares some important information with you. Yeah. Keep it private. Yeah. Um, when you, when you make engagements with somebody or you, you know, you say you’re going to meet, then show up, do the things that you know, do what you would hope that, you know, it’s golden rule, but yeah. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Right? Yeah. And you don’t want your stuff spread around. You don’t want, yeah. If I, I love the little phrase, if something’s going on in somebody’s life and they shared it with you and then someone else asks you what was going on, right? Like that’s not my story to tell. That’s their story to tell. And if they want to share that with you, then that’s for them. So just not mine.
34:01 Right. Make yourself available. So being, building host friendship takes time and it takes togetherness, right? So if you want to see new friends regularly and check in with them between times that you don’t see each other, and it may feel awkward the first few times that you try to talk on the phone or get together. But again, being persistent, that’s gonna pass. Um, I love this because I think this really just leads into, uh, the whole idea that share is an actionable habit and that it’s a mindful decision. Um, manage your nerves with mindfulness. So, you know, it’s easy to start getting really imagining all the worst case scenarios in your head. So much so that you, you don’t, you know, you, you stay home, right? Yeah. Uh, you, you want to use the mindfulness to rework that brain and instead of imagining the worse, you know, pay, pay attention and, uh, realize that most of the time, those worst case scenarios don’t actually manifest. No, they don’t happen. And so it’s the fear, right? That that takes you out of engaging in social activity in the first place. Um, when you do have an embarrassing situation, remind yourself that it’s just a feeling it’s going to pass and it’ll give you something to talk about later, right? And you can handle anything. You can feel anything you are capable of handling, any emotion that comes your way.
35:42 So, uh, like I said, just like our habits of move, our habits of learn, give, let go, share is a, requires a mindful decision and a plan and an action. And most importantly, it requires actually doing the action. So as with any habit, you should always look for ways to make it easier, make it obvious, just as in James clears four laws, make it obvious, make it attractive, make it easy, and make it satisfying. And I think that really, we talked about the planner a little earlier or five for life planner in terms of being a gratitude journal. I think this is one of the places that really excels in terms of creating the habit of social interaction and engaging because writing these things down in the times and the places, the appointments is that it keeps it easy. Yeah. Uh, but it also, we encourage people to write about the social activities in our gratitude spot, which makes it more satisfying, but in, it also creates kind of this history, ongoing history, yeah. Of the relationship. So I think we’ll also link, uh, our cheat sheet, which I think kind of shows that really well, the planner, uh, but it’s just a nice visual way of reinforcing the habit and also making a remind yourself like, you know, we talked about it with a move, like being able to look back and see the progress you’ve made.
37:16 Yeah. You could do the same exact thing. Yeah. You look when, met a new person, chatted today, right? Went for a walk with them and you can, you can follow that trail. Right? And how fun would it be in a year to think about, you know, when you’ve really developed a really close friendship and maybe you’re taking a trip together, you know, to be able to look back on when you first met. Right? So, as with anything, uh, writing something down just helps secure the habit in the first place. It makes it more, makes it more tangible and more real.
37:51 So daily habit number three, share, uh, is all about maintaining those connections, creating and staying engaged with your family, your friends and your community. We say it’s an actionable habit, proven by science to not only increase longevity but improve the overall quality of your life. And obviously, you know, I think it’s gonna make people you’re going to feel better now too, right? Yeah. Oh for sure. Yeah. And we keep saying if you feel better, no. And it has a long-term effect, why would you not? Right. Why would you not?
38:26 So that I think wraps it up for us today, this week and we look forward to having you come back next week when we will be talking about daily habit number four, give, uh, we love this one. Gratitude. There’s so much great science behind. It’s crazy, right? So much great science about why, gratitude and, and some easy things that you can do to help yourself build the habit of expressing gratitude. Yeah. So we will see you all next week.
38:58 Thanks for listening to the Live Happier Longer podcast. Now it’s time to move, learn, share, give and let go. Five daily habits to make the rest of your life the best of your life. See you next week.
39:15 We’re so happy to have you here and hope you’re enjoying our podcast. If you haven’t done it already, we hope you’ll hit the subscribe button and if you can even take a minute and leave us a review, that would be fantastic. Plus, we would love for you to follow us on all of our social media where you can us @thehabitmindset on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest. And one more thing before you go, if you would like a free copy of the habit mindset poster, just send us a quick note to email@example.com that’s firstname.lastname@example.org. Put the subject line free poster and you’ll get yours today. See you next week.
Here are resources mentioned in this podcast:
1) The Importance of Small Talk
2) 5 Practical Steps to Combat Loneliness