00:00 You’re listening to the live happier, longer podcast, episode 59
00:15 welcome to the live happier, longer podcast where your host Molly Watts and Angela McDade. We are here to help you build the five habits of happier, longer life and to create your habit mindset starting now,
00:29 This episode is brought to you by the five for life planner and the 30-day ultimate habit building system. We are so excited to have you join us in January, 2020 our very first 30 day habit building challenge because we all know how important habits are. Yeah. They’re not resolutions that are broken before you’ve even set them. Yeah. Because it’s the quality of your habits that determine the quality of your life. Absolutely. So whether it’s health, career, relationships, you name it, our system is customizable, repeatable, and designed to help you succeed. So go to shop.Fiveforlife.co that’s shop.fiveforlife.co. click on the 30 day ultimate habit building system to learn more.
01:17 Hey, Angela. Hey Molly. How are ya? I am well. Excellent. Did you have a very nice Thanksgiving? I did. We had a 50% here, the other, the other 50% at least were together, which was nice. Oh that’s nice. Yeah. Well we had four out of four, so I’m a straight gold star over here in the Watts household. It was really nice though to have all the boys home was the first time in a long time as people if they’ve listened. No. And now we’ve rolled right into December. I see. I’m not really a big fan of that late Thanksgiving. I will say. Yeah. I like actually. Really? I like it cause then it’s like, because Thanksgiving is so good and then it’s Christmas, I like it. It’s almost here. Well it’s cold here in Oregon. Yes. That uh, crisp air really wakes you up. Yeah. I’m actually, I still have that breath because I was today and it’s really cold, burns your lungs when you’re breathing. But yes, always need talk about the weather bit here. Moving on. Yeah.
02:21 So today on the podcast, we are super excited to be talking to Sky Bergman who is a, uh, well she’s a professor of film and video at Cal poly San Luis Obispo, but she has produced in a directed a film, a documentary called lives well lived yet.
02:41 And it only reinforces all of the things that we talk about on how to live a happier, longer life. Yes, it’s right there. These elders are all, yeah, they’re talking the talk and walking the walk and it’s, it’s so nice to see it. Yeah. And it was inspired by her grandma who passed away at 103.5, after the film was finished. But um, you know, she was working out still at the gym at, you know, at a hundred. Yeah. So I mean, daily action number one move right here is our conversation with Sky Bergman.
03:20 Hi Sky, hi Sky.
03:22 Hi Molly and Angela, thanks for having me.
03:24 Hey, thank you so much. We really appreciate you taking the time to talk with us. We loved the, the film. We loved watching it. And of course if you’re familiar at all with our, I guess with the podcast called live happier longer, um, it makes sense that we’re pretty aligned with a message of living, lives well lived. So I know that this project was a passion project for you, kind of like a five for life is a passion project for us and inspired by your grandmother.
03:58 It was, I, I’m so lucky that my grandmother lived long enough for me to really appreciate her. And um, she lived to be 103 and a half. And when, um, uh, she would came out here for the first time to visit me. She lived in Florida and I live in California. She came out to visit me for the first time when she was 96. And um, for the next four summer she came and spent the month of August with me, which if you’ve ever been in Florida in August, you know, it was a very wise decision to escape. And um, she was an amazing cook. That was the way that she showed people her love was through her cooking. And I realized that I really wanted to capture that. I had never really, spent the time to capture that.
04:40 I’ve spent time with her in the kitchen, but I didn’t know any of her recipes. She never wrote a recipe down. And so I started videoing her in the kitchen and that was really how this whole thing started was my love of my grandmother and wanting to capture that and capture her essence I suppose. And um, when she was turning 99 or turning a hundred, she was 99 turning a hundred. She was working out at the gym. And, um, I thought I’d better film this cause nobody’s going to believe that it almost a hundred she’s still working out at the gym and I just as a throw away comment said to her, grandma, can you give me some words of wisdom? And that was truly the beginning of this film.
05:19 I was approaching 50 and thinking about what I wanted the rest of my life to look like. And Mmm. You know, I was looking for other people that were role models out there, like my grandmother was to me and I sent an email blast out to my friends, family and alum, and I said, here’s this little woman at video clip that I put together, my grandmother working out at the gym at 99 almost a hundred and if you have somebody in your life, that’s as much an inspiration as my grandmother’s to me, then please nominate them for this project. And the heartwarming thing was I was just inundated with nominations. It was just so, so lovely. So that was really how it all began.
05:58 Yeah. And that, that was the, the thing about the movie was the variety of people and the different backgrounds and, and they all had a different story, but it was the same. Well, they obviously old grew up in a time of hardship, just simply because of when they were born and despite all of that, they were just, just amazing people. And it was so inspiring too to listen to them speak. And it was, it was just lovely. And as I say, just that range of people in what the did with their life. It was so interesting.
06:38 Well I think one of the things that comes through in the film is that there’s a resiliency that these people have. And I think that, um, you know, I always say that there are three things that people have in common that I interviewed cause everybody wants to know what’s the secret, right? That’s a thing that people had in common. And I would say, um, the first one is that they all had something that they wanted to learn every day or do every day. There was some reason that they got up every day. And the second thing was that they were surrounded by a good group of either friends or family. And the interesting thing was it didn’t necessarily have to be family. It could be friends, but they were not isolated. They were socially involved with other people. And then I think the third thing is kind of what we were talking about before was this resiliency and the ability see life is a glass half full rather than half empty.
07:34 I mean, even in the midst of some of the greatest challenges, the people that I interviewed were still incredibly positive in a way that, you know, I, I, everybody gets up on the wrong side of the bed every once in a while. And that’s certainly happens to me. And I think of these people and their stories and how they overcame those obstacles and the things that get me upset all of a sudden don’t. I kind of look at it in a different light and change my attitude very quickly. And I think that that really is because I worked on the film and had the advantage of listening to all these people and really adsorbing that, so that resiliency is something that’s so incredibly important.
08:11 Yeah. It’s funny. I mean, not funny. It’s actually, we spoke with, uh, Dr Emily Rogalski. She’s from, uh, Northwestern university doing a huge, uh, multi-year study on super agers. And these are people that are biologically older but actually physically appear younger in their brain activity. Yeah. And one of the common traits there as well was this resilient spirit. And so it’s not just, you know, there’s, there’s science, there somewhere right in what these, these people and all of their shared very diverse backgrounds. But just like you said, these common threads. I mean they have not only aged to an old age, but they’ve done it with amazing attitude and an optimism and grace that is not necessarily widespread, you know? And so they kind of are, they, they are, they are very inspirational for that reason.
09:16 Well, I think, like I said, because I was approaching 50 and I wanted positive role models of what my life could be like in the next half of my life. And so, um, you know, I, I went out in search of people that were inspiring. And so I think that’s what you’re seeing in the film. You’re not seeing, um, you know, a cross section of everyone that’s 75 and older. You’re really seeing that people, I think that are the inspiring ones. And, and the interesting thing is that it really, um, it was not necessarily, not everybody was in the best of health. I think it was much more about their mental health and then about their physical health. I think that that was far more important. In fact, my dad was part of the whole project.
09:58 He’s had several strokes and the last stroke left him pretty much in a wheelchair, but he’s still a practicing geriatric physician even though he can’t mostly use the left side of his body. And he is far more grateful now for the things that he can do than he ever has been in his life. And I think instead of becoming very resentful, he looks at the things you still can do with a great deal of satisfaction. And that, for me, it’s a great role model. You know that again, it’s not really necessarily because we are all physically going to decline in some way. That is just the way that it is. But how do you move beyond that and keep you, mentally keep you in a place where you’re still wanting to learn and we’re still wanting to grow and you’re still wanting to be involved and engaged.
10:43 Yeah. Well that’s obviously, you know, that’s a big part of what we talk about all the time. Um, our, our whole project was inspired by my dad who is about to turn 92, 92. All of a sudden I was like, 92, I keep saying he’s 92, he’s not quite there yet. Um, and the same thing kind of where he, the differences in, um, how he aged as opposed to how other people in my life aged and just, he has had health issues and he has had challenges, but the things that he has done consistently over time, and I think that we saw so many of them in the people that you interviewed. Um, the first one we call our daily habit number one is move. And, you know, every single, uh, I think most all of the people that were in the film talked about going out, going just for a walk, you know, um, and continuing to move. I mean there was dancing, there was, uh, I mean a lot, a lot of people, you know, a lot of them were very much into continuing move, you know? Right.
11:55 Well my grandmother had a saying that she said, move it or lose it. And I so agree with that. And the other thing is that my grandmother did not start going to the gym until she was 80. So I always say, its never too late start going to the gym or just start getting involved in something. And you know, my passion is yoga, but it doesn’t matter what it is as long as you do something every day. I think that that’s the important thing.
12:21 Absolutely. 100%. And it’s, it’s not only allegorically through the stories that you’ve told and what we talk about it, but it’s actually, again, proven by science to help you increase your mobility, increase your longevity, and also your overall attitude. Because if it’s good for your heart, it’s good for your brain. And you know, there’s, everything’s so interlinked. So it’s, it’s an important, you know, it was, it was fun to see people doing what we know, you know, helps people create that attitude of optimism, right. Because if you’re still able to move and you feel good, you’re, it’s easier, uh, to, to have an optimistic attitude.
13:02 I totally agree. I mean, and even like I said, my dad who’s pretty much in a wheelchair, but you know, he’s still gets around, he still visits his patients, so is practicing, he’s doing what he can. And I think that that’s really important that you do what you can with what you have and, um, you know, and, and keeping remaining optimistic and, and remaining wanting to do and wanting to participate I think is really key.
13:26 I was really interested in the fact that I noted that a lot of them, um, commented on starting new things or learning new things during midlife at age 50 or 50 plus or, you know, things that they had not done, um, not started sculpting until he was 40.
13:45 I mean, things that they really, you know. Painting, actually a little of artistic things. Yes. And very, a lot of artistic and creative outlet. Um, quilting and you know, just a lot of, but I was very interested. Um, and I don’t know if that was the direction from your questions because you were, you know, in mid-life at that time and so asking, you know, what did you do? But I think it’s a good lesson for people as well. We always talk about that with our, with our audience is that this is an opportune time to start. You know, you’ve taken care of your kids, you’ve done all this. It’s a great time to start exploring new things. And that whole attitude of learning. I mean that’s our daily habit. Number two is going out and trying these new things cause it really does help create that optimism for you. Yeah. Yeah.
14:35 And one of the, I can’t remember who it was, it said it, you’re never too old to start anything. And, but she said when her kids were growing up, it was too soon, because she was so busy looking after their kids. But then once they were grown, well the time was now, and that was when she was in that mid-life. So there is a right time for it. When she went to learn French in France, right? Yeah.
15:02 That was Debbie. Yeah. And Marianne, who’s in the film, she’s 89 almost 90 now, and she’s learning to play guitar for the first time. So, you know, I think that that’s part of that spirit and that wanting to learn something new every day is, is what keeps people mentally engaged and, and wanting to get up every day and wanting that excitement, you know, of learning something new. I think if we can always have that excitement, it just makes life so much better and so much fuller, you know?
15:34 Yeah, absolutely. And again, I don’t think you, this isn’t, you know, you weren’t looking at this through a scientific lens that we do. We do it both kind of inspirationally and through that science lens. But the three top, the three things that people fear most about aging are loss of mobility, cognitive decline, and loneliness and isolation. And you kind of hit, like I said, our top three daily habits are move, learn and share. And that share is all about staying engaged. And you’d kind of mentioned that as being something that was fundamentally a part of all of these people’s lives.
16:15 Absolutely. And I think that they all wanted to give back in some way. And you know, they’re all people that are doing things like Evy. Um, who was a woman that was 50, and learning French and going to France, she’s part of the league of women voters and she’s going into high schools and trying to get students to register and preregister to vote. And so she’s almost every day she’s at a different high school and, um, Marion and Paul Wolff go around to high schools and talk about their experience during the Holocaust. Um, ROSE ALBANO BALLESTERO, um, who’s in her eighties now is, gets up every morning and goes and helps the ESL students because she was an ESL student when she was growing up. And so, you know, they’re all still doing these things. And I think that that’s what keeps them feeling vital. We all want to feel like we have a purpose in life and like there’s something that we’re giving back in some ways that we’re contributing. And so I think the, that um, common thread is really important. Lou Tedone he’s still making his mozzarellas every day and he’s like, Lou gets up and makes the mozzies.
17:18 Yes. Yeah, loved him, love that. And it looked really good. It did look really good on top of it.
17:28 So wonderful. I, I am friends with all these people. I mean say, always say that my grandmother left me the greatest legacy, which is that I now have 40 new grandparents. Yeah. All really do watch out for me. I mean we were at Maryann and Paul’s for Thanksgiving dinner. I’m lucky Louie who’s the mozzeralla maker, I have to go visit him once a week if I, I get an email from him asking if I’m okay and actually last week when I, when I was sick and not feeling well, I emailed him to say I’m not going to be there this week cause I’m just not feeling well. Do you know that there was a mozzarella and a thing of chicken soup on my front porch, so my 96 year old friend was dropping off chicken soup, which I mean, I love that. I think that that’s, having friends of all different ages I think is so important. And my grandmother always used to say, I would say to, well, what’s your secrets? She said, make sure you have younger friends. And I think that for me it’s make sure I have younger friends, but also make sure I have older friends and having friends of all different ages is so important in terms of your life and just having a fuller life.
18:34 one of the things I think is really important about the film and about kind of what our message is to that we always want to really make sure people hear, is that all of these things are available to you every day. And it’s really truly every single person that you interviewed, it boiled down to a choice that they made to how, you know, no matter what that, that resiliency, but their attitude was, you know, they chose how they wanted to live their lives. And it’s like, you know, you can walk around, and Angela and I are just talking about this yesterday, you know, the things that you think you can, you can add to your own suffering or you can frame your life in a way that, that you’re always grateful for things, you know, and it’s, we, that’s our daily action. Number four actually give is gratitude. And, and it’s, it was really a thread too throughout all of those people that you spoke to.
19:37 Absolutely. I think that that practice of gratitude is really important. And I think that too, you know, one of the things that I really learned from doing the film, and I think it was Blanche Brown that said it, that that hit for me was, you know, really to live in the moment. And I find myself, uh, for me, what that means is stopping, looking around and just taking that moment in and being so grateful for it. And sometimes it’s a sunset, sometimes it’s being in a screening and I’m surrounded by 200 people who are all watching the film who are so inspired by it. Sometimes it’s being in the classroom with my students, but at least a few times a day I try and take that moment to just, wow, this is amazing and I need to remember this and just take it in. And I think we’re so busy in our lives with our phones and you know, I see my students always looking down at your phone and I’m like, put them away. Just enjoy each other and really be more present. And I think that that’s something that we have lost a little bit. And if we could all have that practice of gratitude and take that moment to just, um, breathe it in, I think the world would be a better place.
20:47 Yeah, we, um, recently spoke to John Leland. He’s, uh, at New York times. All right, John. So John, we just recently interviewed John and about his book a year, you know, a year among the oldest old happiness is a choice. Right. Which is just kind of what I was saying, but one of the, the elders said, you know, that, that just, that, that to really understand just how truly amazing life is at every moment. It’s something that each and every one of us continue. You don’t need any special skills. You don’t need to be rich or poor or it doesn’t matter famous or you know, nothing. It’s always there. And it sounds to some people it sounds like really woo woo, like, Oh, you know, positive thinking, et cetera. But I think that that’s been something that for us definitely along this path learning and speaking to the people that we’ve gotten to, to talk to it is something that people who, age with optimism, who live lives well lived, who live successfully. They, they embrace that and they, they make it a part of their daily lives.
22:02 Absolutely. And I would say, you know, one of my passions now has been doing intergenerational projects with the film and um, screening the film, um, where there are elders and students, either high school or college students that watch the film together. And then we’ve formed, um, projects based around that where they’ll interview each other and then kind of culminate at the end of a quarter or a semester with a big wrap party where they do presentations. And one of the reasons that I am really interested in that is because I think that we have lost that connection to our elders. I mean, I was lucky enough to grow up with my grandparents and see that. Um, but one of the things that I learned in doing the research for the film is that the last hundred years is the first time in human history that we’ve looked to anyone other than our elders for advice.
22:54 And I really feel the world is suffering as a result. And so whatever I can do to connect the generations I think is so vitally important because, um, you know, it’s like anything else. If you know somebody who’s older or younger, you know, all of a sudden those biases kind of disappear cause you meet people one on one. And the students that I worked with, um, many of them didn’t have grandparents or elders that they had, you know, in their lives. And they would come up to me and say thank you so much. I had no idea they learned so much just by taking that time to talk to somebody that was older than them and get a different perspective and a different take on life. And I know what it did for me interviewing 40 people. So I’m, you know, I feel like in some small way I’m combating ageism, like one story in one connection at a time, but sometimes it has to start, you know, the more personal, the more universal and sometimes it has to start at that very common ground, that very small step.
23:57 I’ve never, I, I feel kind of like I’ve lived under a rock, but I’ve never heard that the more personal, the more universal and I love it. So, yes, I think that, I mean, combating ageism is a, it is an important topic. I think going forward is something that really, because we are getting older as a nation in general and it’s something we obviously have to, you know, look at as a, yeah. Realistic thing. So I think that in and of itself is something that needs to be addressed. Did you say? But again, like me for instance, my parents and my husband’s parents are in Scotland, so we see them now and again. So my kids don’t have grandparents that are right here and especially in the U S is so big that people don’t live in the same place anymore. Like my hometown in Scotland, my sisters all, you know, within miles of each other and they see my parents all the time. You know, it’s a very small place, but US in particular is so big that people just don’t have the, it’s like a geographical connection. Never mind any other, you know, personal connection. It’s true. So, you know, those projects that you’re doing who you’re connecting people is, it just sounds, it’s, it’s an opportunity that people like young people wouldn’t necessarily have to say an extent. Some of the, the elders wouldn’t either because some of their family have gone. So it’s sounds like had a really nice win, win situation for everybody. For sure.
25:44 Absolutely. Yeah. Mmm.
25:47 So, so tell me more about in terms of, so that’s one area that you’re hoping to use the film for good. Is influencing kind of that conversation and inter-generational from the get go. Did you have, what were your goals? I mean, what was your, so you started off, you know, you were talking to your grandmother, she had some words of wisdom to share. You’ve got this idea and suddenly you’ve got an award winning documentary, you know, I know you’re a film, you’re a film teacher, so it’s not exactly out of your um, realm. But,
26:18 well, actually I was still photography teacher. I really, I’d never done any video until I did the video of my grandmother cooking in the kitchen. And, um, I mean I’d done a lot, so I do have a photography background but not film and it’s very, very different. And, and so, we have a motto at my school, I teach at Cal poly in San Luis Obispo. And our motto is learn by doing, and the whole project has been that because when I started it, I really thought it might just be this web series. I wasn’t really sure what I was going to do with it. I just knew I had to do it. And, um, when I interviewed Marianne Wolf, who she, um, came over on the very first Kinder transport from Vienna, Austria in the, in the UK. They were trying to save as many kids as they could. And so they were taking kids from Germany and Austria..
27:15 And away from their parents.
27:18 Yeah. And they saved 10,000 kids, which is pretty remarkable. And she was one of them. And, um, I had never heard that story and to hear it firsthand. And she still had the cardboard number that they put around her neck at the age of eight. And, um, there was something about that that I think was a pivot moment for me that I realized it had to be a feature length film, although I’d never done anything like this before. For some reason, I thought that that was the way that I could get these story’s out in a bigger way than just doing a web series.
27:52 And at that moment I looked at making sure that I had a diverse group of people that I was interviewing. Like, um, you know, I sought out somebody that was Japanese American story of Suzy Eto Bauman and who was interned during world war two. Um, and you know, made sure that it wasn’t just about, uh, Oh, that all happened over in Europe. It’s like, let’s remember what we did in our own country so that perhaps we can learn from our history and not repeat those same mistakes. And so I, I realized that, you know, it started out, I was collecting the words of wisdom of all these people, but then I kind of also realized that I was also collecting their history and that some of that was going to be lost unless we collected it.
28:35 And so, um, one of the things that I am hoping or hope for the film is that it becomes a catalyst for people to collect the stories of their loved ones. And on the website for the film, there’s a place where people can go and share people’s stories. And I asked everyone about the same, like 23 questions. I put about 10 of those questions up on the website because I think the hardest thing when you’re talking about interviewing somebody is knowing where to start. Like you say, Oh, tell me about yourself. And that’s such a wide open ended that it just makes it a little difficult. So I gave people kind of a framework, here’s how you can start and here are some questions that you can use. Mmm. For example, one of the questions is what do you think of your own mortality? And I remember asking my dad that question. And I think as a daughter I might’ve had a harder time asking that question, but because I was doing it in the context of it being an interview, um, it was a little easier and it was a great conversation that we had and we would never have had that conversation otherwise.
29:37 And I think that’s something we never talk about that in our society we always, for some reason that’s like the thing, but it’s so important, um, to talk about that and, and you know, uh, so having that frame of questions I think is really a good starting point. So that’s another goal for the project is to help people collect the stories of their loved ones. And I know that that’s happening cause I get emails every day from people that say, wow, I went back and I, it was, you know, Thanksgiving and I interviewed my grandparents and I wouldn’t have otherwise. And you know, so that’s really heartwarming. That’s great.
30:09 For sure. That’s a, I love that. I love that. Um, just piece of engagement because that’s really, I mean that is taking it to a personal level and helping people have difficult conversations or just learning, just like you said, from the history, from their, their elders, which we so often miss out on. Um, so tell me about the, the release of the film and what, how, how, I know that you have screenings, people can submit for screenings. Tell me a little bit more about what if people are wanting to know more. Tell me about that.
30:45 Yeah, so thank you for asking. We just released the DVD, um, kind of a soft release to our email list and um, people that know about us, we’re not doing a mass marketing at this point cause the whole film has been word of mouth. I mean, everything that’s happened has been from people spreading the word about the film. Um, and then we’ve been doing, um, we had a theatrical release and now we’re doing community and educational screenings so people can, um, email and, and, you know, requests to a community or educational screening. And we’ve been doing them all over the country. So at this point we’ve had, um, between all of our screenings, we’ve screened in over 200 cities across the country and across Canada. And, um, and it just keeps going. I mean, I’m always amazed every day there’s something new that it comes in that somebody has some requests for the film.
31:35 I thought it would slow it down, but it has not because I think the film is an evergreen film and it’s about issues that we all are interested in. And um, so there’s still the interest in, and like I said, it’s word of mouth. I’ve not put the call out relate to anyone. It’s all people saying, Oh, I heard about your film and I really want to see it. And, and that’s wonderful. I mean, for me, I haven’t had to do any marketing at all. It’s marketing itself and it’s just, um, I mean that’s the wonderful thing, right? When you have something that people really want to see, that they want to tell their friends about it. When it, it played here in, it’s in our hometown in San Luis Obispo, but it played for nine weeks theater here. And it was people coming back seeing the film two and three times and bringing friends with them to see the film.
32:25 Because I think that one of the beauties of the film is, since there are so many different people in the film, you might not connect with one person, but you’re certainly going to connect with someone in the film. And so everybody has a favorite and it’s different for everyone. And, um, it also connects you to the people in your life. Because one of the questions that I’ll ask at the end of the screening is how many people in the audience are thinking of somebody that would have been perfect for the film or you would have been perfect for the film. And I would say almost 95% of the hands go up. You know, there’s you’re thinking at the end of the film about somebody that you love, that’s in your life that was an inspiration to you and that you think would have been perfect for the film. And that’s great. So if I’ve done just that, then I’ve done, that’s enough. You know? And that’s, that’s a one gift.
33:13 Well that’s an awesome, I mean, I, I’m, it’s not very often that we, you know, you find someone that’s done a project like this that’s really, um, wanting to have it just be out there for just because, yeah, just for all the good, you know, for the good that it can do and the conversations that can be had and the learning that can accomplish. And, you know, I know that it’s not a, it’s a not a free will, you know, it didn’t, it didn’t get created for free. So in any ways that people can help, I, I’m going to have you give us that information too. At the end. There’s a way for people to donate to help, uh, the, the film support as well. So, well, I just can’t imagine how lucky you must feel in terms of the the relationships and the connections that you’ve created. I know that again, when we spoke, spoke with John Leland, I mean he only had six and yeah, he spent up, but he spent a year with them. So, yeah, he was very, and, and of course a few of his have now passed away cause they were quite elderly. But um, but he said that he was spending Thanksgiving with one of his elders who also just, she passed away not long after that unfortunately.
34:31 Yeah. I think that was Ping. Yeah.
34:33 Yeah. It was Ping. Yeah. Um, so 40 that must be a real, keep life very entertaining. And yeah, I know from his perspective that was something. That was the greatest pay back. Exactly, unexpected, what was initially just an assignment and then even creating a book, the, the relationships that he had with all those elders were what were, was truly the gift.
35:01 Oh yeah. For me as well. And, and I certainly have had people that have passed away from the film as well. And you, you know, that’s just the risk that you take, I think when you’re working with that population. But the benefits far outweigh the, um, I, I feel so honored to even have known all these people. And, you know, I just, what a gift it was for me and what a nice legacy that I’ve left for them, for their families. Because with everyone that I interviewed, I transcribed all the interviews and I, um, gave the families the full interviews so that they would have them. And, um, you know, and there were stories that came out that they had never heard from families, siblings.
35:42 And I think, Mmm. You know, one of the interesting thing is one of the questions that I asked was, uh, of all the people, do you have any regrets? And the biggest regret that people had was not asking questions of people that had passed away. And I mean, that was a common sort of theme was though I wished I had asked this person or that person, you know, some more questions. And so I think that that’s a really good lesson to learn is to, if you have those questions and you have an elder, sit down with them and talk to them. That’s so important. I remember I had on the first interviews that I did have of lucky Louie the mozzarella man. And then this other name and Ken Schwartz, I had a student assistant with me and, and he, we, we had, um, a little bite to eat after we had finished interviewing them. And he said, I didn’t know that older people had so much to say. I said, well, don’t you have anyone that’s older in your life?
36:40 And he said, yeah, I have a grandfather, but he’s really quiet. And I said, well, do you ever try and have a conversation with him? And you know, I said, you know what, take these questions. He was going home the next weekend and sit down with them and just talk to him. And he came back from that trip and he was beaming. Like his grandfather was so excited that he actually took an interest and sat down with them. But part of it was they didn’t know how to start the dialogue. They didn’t know how to make it happen. He had to see that there were two other elders that were so, like, you know, talking. And he was so excited about it that it led him to opening up a relationship and a dialogue with this grandfather, which I guess, you know, those are some wonderful things that came out of things like this. So
37:25 for sure you said, I think 10 of them around the website. Maybe get those
37:29 yeah, there’s a bunch of them on the website and I can email you all the rest of it.
37:33 Yeah, I like those. Put those in our show notes and so people can have that as a resource just so they can do the same for that. So yeah, so the website is, it’s pretty simple, right?
37:47 Yes. https://www.lives-well-lived.com or you can just Google lives well lived and it’s the first thing that comes up.
37:54 Okay, perfect. And um, and the DVD is for sale on the website?
37:59 Yes, it’s for sale on the website. And also if you want to be inspired, if you go on the website to our film stars part of the page, all of the people that I interviewed, all 40 people are there along with my favorite quotes from the film. So you can see a quote, 40 different quotes.
38:15 Beautiful. Wonderful. Um, well we will link all of that link to your social media as well cause I know that’s all there on the website. So we’ll put all of that in our show notes so that people can further connect with you. Cause I think that they’ll want to, we were. Yeah. We thank you very much for letting us preview the film because we really enjoyed and um, I know that other people will get a lot out of it, not just, I mean enjoy it of course, but get inspired to also live a life, a life well lived. Yeah.
38:47 Well thank you very much for taking the time. Appreciate it.
38:50 Absolutely. Thank you so much. Thanks Sky.
38:53 Thank you.
38:54 Thanks for listening to the live happier, longer podcast. Now it’s time to move, learn, share, give and let go. Five daily habits to make the rest of your life the best of your life. See you next week.
