00:00 You’re listening to the live happier, longer podcast, episode 41

00:15 Welcome to the live, happier, longer podcast. We’re your hosts, Molly watts and Angela McDade. We are here to help you build the habits of a happier, longer life. Starting now.

00:28 Hello, Angela. Hello Molly, how are ya? I am well. Excellent. I feel like I haven’t talked to you in like, oh, I don’t know, two months. Yeah, it’s been a, it’s been a crazy two months. We’ve seen each other sporadically, but there’s, there’s not been just us. There’s been at least 40 other people. There’s been a lot going on. Lots going on. Weddings and family here from Scotland and your family all back from different places they’re from, yeah. And Yeah. And puppy. Oh yeah, new puppy. Yeah. Lots of things. And we were on hiatus, which was nice. But boy, I’m excited. I’m excited just to be back, back at it. Yeah. Got Our headsets working and our microphones working. So that was a good thing. Yeah. Once we figured that out, we knew we were Golden, um, and excited because in season two we are really looking forward to taking all the content that we’ve been focusing on here for the last year at five for life and taking it, I think to the next level.

01:32 Yeah. We want to focus on not only the, the habits themselves, but the science behind building the habits and why it’s important to, to carry out these habits. Yeah. I mean it’s one thing to tell people what those habits are and to really educate them on the specific habits that we chose and why we chose them. Because it is important as a part of aging, we had reasons and reasons that were backed by science for why these five, five habits are the ones that you should focus on for aging with optimism and living a happier, longer life. But once we dug into just the, you know, the, the power of those habits, it was really understanding that it’s the habits themselves. It’s that process of creating habit. Yeah. That is really a challenge for people. Yeah. Yeah. Because every like when you tell people they, they totally agree with you.

02:28 Right. And it’s, it’s like good idea. Yeah. Is we were chatting earlier, like people saying, yeah, it’s really important to eat your greens. Everybody knows that you should be eating your Greens, but you have to actually eat your greens to get the benefit. You know, talking all day long about how important it is doesn’t do anybody any good, you have to actually do it. Yeah. And turns out as we have learned with other people, building the habit is harder. It’s easier said than done. And there’s a lot of competing things, competing interests for our time. Yeah. Right. I mean, a lot of challenges everyone faces in terms of how they spend their time and what they focus on. I think that for us, what has been super important in talking about this, this idea of living a happier longer life is the idea that you have to decide, make a mindful, plan and create the habits so that you can have the happier, longer life.

03:34 It’s one thing to have this goal sitting out there in front of you. And, you know, we talked in season one, we discussed the book atomic habits. One of my, one of my became quickly became one of my favorites. Um, but uh, James Clear says it’s not the, you won’t rise to the, the height of your goals, you’ll fall to the level of your systems. Yeah. And that was something that was really, um, uh, it just resonated with what we are w without us knowing it. It really resonated with what we are trying to, to share that information on the importance of the five that we speak about. But it’s the habit part of it to make sure you’re doing it and you know, it just, it is when you see something you, it makes more sense than you ever knew it would. And I think that I, because I enjoy motivational speakers.

04:31 I have a lot of, um, ideas in my head. You know, I’ve get, I get inspired by things. And so I do have these dreams and these goals and things that I want to accomplish. And I think there’s a lot of people like me that have a lot of, you know that. Oh, wouldn’t that be great? Yeah, yeah. But they don’t understand. Or they don’t really like want to dial down and do the work. You know? I don’t say I don’t want to do the work. I’m just saying that it’s, but I mean most people are fundamentally lazy. Yeah. All of these things take work. I mean, we are designed to take the easy path. There’s very few people who would go, oh yeah, there’s two ways to do it. Let me do the hard way. You’re going to take the easier path. Well, and that’s funny because it’s part of the whole, we’re going to talk about that more in the, in this season about the science of habits.

05:29 But the reason that we take the easy path is a little bit because our brains have decided, yes, it’s the anatomy of our brains and they love the easy part. They love automate automation, right? Because it takes less energy. It takes less, you know? And if we’ve done something over and over and over again, our brains like, okay, perfect, there is no pain, we can do that. There’s no risk here. There’s no, you know, nothing scary about this because we’ve done it before and this is just, even if that habit isn’t serving you, even if it’s a habit that you’re not, you know? Yeah. It’s just familiar. If it’s familiar, you’ll, you’ll go to again and again. Yeah. So why not make that a good habit? Right. Rather than a bad one. Right. And so that’s the, that’s the notion and that’s kind of where we came up with along the path.

06:20 We changed all of our social media handles here just in the last six months really to the habit mindset. And that was again, a, a decision that reflected the notion that you have to choose to build habits as your mindset and really understand that that’s a conscious decision, a future focus decision and one that is not something that’s just going to happen in default. Yeah. And like so many of us live our lives. It when you really start looking at your, the things that you do on a regular basis, you begin to see so much of what you’re doing is just, you’re just doing it without thinking, right? It’s just by default. It’s just, you know, what you’ve done, what you’ve done, what you’ve done in the past. And so, and even if that what you’ve done in the past doesn’t really equal the result you’re looking for in the future, you don’t choose to change it unless you really put your mind to it, you know, and you make a conscious decision and use that prefrontal cortex as opposed to your primitive brain, which you know, exists there. They, they exist and, and they both have a role in, in habits.

07:36 So our five daily habits for, uh, building a happier, longer life are really came about well from two things, right? So people who’ve listened to our podcast know that, uh, really the inspiration behind, um, five for life and those five daily habits came from watching my parents take two very different paths towards aging. And my dad, who’s 91.6 now, um, is still a great example of, uh, continuing and still continues to work. Those five habits. But that’s the, that’s the whole thing. He’s consistently done these things all of his life and you don’t get to be 91.6 and still be, you know, optimistic and moving around well and have a good, uh, you know, mental status and being engaged with your, yeah, just a whole network that, that keeps you engaged with, you know, your community and family and everything else. Yeah. You don’t get to do that if you don’t like really build those habits.

08:53 And so number one is, and we say its number one for a reason is move and this is one that I think, um, it kinda evolved for us initially. We initially, it’s kind of obvious if you don’t move around, then you, you know, you, you lose, you can lose that ability. I think that’s, I really think that that’s an understated thing that people don’t really, they, you lose sight of the fact if you’re talking about what people fear most as they age, probably the number one thing that people move most fear most is the loss of mobility. And it’s also probably the most one of the most preventable you know, not, I was just telling you about my sister who has had bunion surgery on her feet recently. So she’s really having, she’s 12 years older, she’s turning 67 and she is, you know, having a time really with her mobility right now.

09:55 I’m like back here harping on her like okay, but you really have to keep moving, moving. Cause that’s the thing. And I think it’s like a foreign concept sometimes in our fifties sixties whatever, you know, you can’t imagine. Right. But it’s so important even, and it can happen very quickly. Yes it can. And the reason I brought her up in her bunches, cause it’s like the most, the easiest thing for people to do. The easiest thing, if you do nothing else, just walk. Just walk. Yep. And we’ve had guests on our podcasts before who have said that if you walk, you’re actually checking all the boxes as far as yeah. As is your mobility and the cognitive. Yes, there’s cognitive, there’s emotional, there’s everything that is involved with walking. It’s not, which is kind of what we’re seeing when we say move initially you think of it as just as a physical thing, but we over the course we have, we’ve realized that it’s actually multi-faceted, how moving can benefit you. It’s not just the physical, um, keeping your body in motion. So that was, that was a very interesting thing for us that we kinda, kinda learned a lot of new stuff along the way, which was, which was great. Yes. And in season two we’ll definitely be digging deeper into each of our five habits and with move, really trying to help people create that habit of movement and yeah, a steps for how to build yourself. I mean, set up a successful plan for creating the habit of move.

11:36 Daily habit number two is learn. Yup. And we have definitely learned a lot along the way without question. And there are countless studies that show that using your brain and continuing to challenge your brain as you age, uh, helps you battle cognitive decline and dementia. And I think the thing that I wanted to say before, and I had mentioned or I forgot it a little bit, was one of the reasons that we chose the habits that we did was not only because they were all proven to increase longevity and improve, but improve the overall quality of your life. One of the great things about building these habits now is you’re going to see benefit right now, right now, right. Um, even a lot of people in Midlife, they start to battle some memory loss and you can really improve even on a daily basis how your brain is processing things by continuing to challenge it. Yeah. So you’ll see the benefits, uh, now and you’ll continue if you built the habit of learning, you’ll continue to see those habits that, that benefit into your 80s, 90s, and beyond. Yeah. And, and it, it means that you’re happier life starts right now. Right, right. Which is a good thing.

12:54 Um, daily habit number three is share. Yeah. And that’s all about the community you’re in, the people you’re with, your friends, your family. It’s about connections that you’re making with other people. And it’s so important to make, you know, we talked about it before about the things that we, we fear when we get older and loneliness is one of those fears. And if you make a habit now of keeping those connections that you’ve built up with friends and family, then that means that long term down the road, those connections are always going to be there. But you have to make an effort again, we’ve spoken before that it’s so easy to be, oh, I just, I can’t be bothered that just, I’m too tired. There’s some TV show I want to watch. So you, I’m an introvert. That’s my favorite. Yeah. I hear that all the time. Gosh, if I had a dime for everybody that told me they were an introvert, I mean, yeah, I get it. Because I do believe I, you know what the technical term for introvert versus extrovert is how you re-energize. If you tend to get reenergized by being alone and being quiet, then you’re an introvert. And there are so many people that come across as not introverted who are introverted in fact.

14:15 So I get it because that’s me. I’m definitively, it wouldn’t be easy for me to like hole up and not see people. Yeah. Bottom line is that, that happier, longer life person, long lived person I should say is the person that maintains those issues, those relationships absolutely is involved in their community, is involved in their, you know, gives back. Volunteers does have those, those things like that. Um, so it’s definitely something and we will talk more again about steps that you can take to build the habits and overcome those, uh, predetermined thoughts in your head. Just like we were just saying. You know, those are thoughts that lead to feelings, that lead to actions that become the results of your life. And ultimately it’s the results that we want to impact, but that starts back at your thoughts and really understanding the importance of creating those habits is where it’s all going to be.

15:23 Daily Habit number four is give and I mean there’s just so much great science behind the habit of gratitude. Yeah. We were just talking about it earlier and say exactly what you said. Yeah. A happy person is not thankful. A thankful person is happy. Yeah. Let’s think on that for a minute folks. Did you hear the difference? The subtle difference there? The point being is that you don’t have to be happy in the first place. It’s the thankfulness that creates the happiness and it’s, and it’s of, you know, you’re just flipping the ones that I in, but it’s a very important difference and that’s, I hear a lot, we hear a lot of people who kind of get it in their mind that they’ll be happy when they lose those last 10 pounds when they get in promotion, where they, where they have the right car, where they have the right. Yeah, they’ve just waiting for the thing. Right. Where if they simply chose their mindset to be thankful for what they have in their life right now, um, they would be happy now. Yeah. And all of those stories of, of people who’ve had great tragedies in their life and really, you look at them and think, how could they go on, you know, and how, how can they live the life and you know, they have very little or, or they’ve had all these dreadful things happen in their life and they’re remarkably happy and it all comes down to, they grateful and they demonstrate gratitude all the time. So therefore it’s, they are happy despite all of the tragedy and the what they have lost the make up for what they have. I think that that’s too, something that, um, within this whole, um, learning that we’ve been doing and some of the stuff that I’ve been working on a lot in the last year, which has been through this, been through self-coaching, is this whole notion of happiness, right?

17:38 And expecting life to be like 100% happy all the time. It’s just not where we’re going right. We want to have, we want to have a life that is 50 50 we want it all we want to be. Because if you don’t experience loss in your life, if you don’t experience any of the downside, how are you ever going to appreciate the truly wonderful, joyful things that you’ve been to have? You know, and you don’t want go around wishing but, but understanding and accepting it from the beginning that no matter where you are, you lose those next 10 pounds and guess what? Life’s still going to be 50 50 negative things are still going to happen and you’re still going to have to choose to be happy. You know, you’re going to have to choose your mindset and your choose your thoughts about what those, what that is and actually practicing gratitude and making that effort yet.

18:41 But, and the other thing that we have found through all the different reading we’ve done that the physical act of either writing it down or saying it aloud. I am thankful for, or this happened today and I am thankful for, for this, that, the other, and that in its and of itself is. It helps you, it helps you physically, it helps your health, it helps your mental health. The, and we’re going to talk again in this season, we will be diving into that habit of gratitude. What that looks like, the steps that you can take to build that habit. Steps that you can take to overcome some of your, you know, some of your past beliefs about life. Maybe, maybe just you’ve got, maybe you’ve become pessimistic, you know, so well we’ll definitely be talking about that as well.

19:34 Daily habit number five is let go and it’s all about all the negative stuff, right? The negative emotions that really don’t serve us. Stress, anger, fear, regret, regret. Those are really probably the main ones and they’re bad for us. They’re bad for us in terms of our health. They, they create chronic problems. Like physical and mental health, depression, uh, everything of that nature. And again, it is a mindful habit to address those negative things that come up in our lives every day and really understand them for what they are. And this has been one that’s been really powerful for me is understanding that like, it’s my choice to let the circumstances of my life stress me out because circumstances are always neutral. Yeah. Are going to happen there. Well, they’re facts. They’re, yeah, they are just happening. They are. And it’s my thought about it that creates the feeling of stress and it’s that thought that is completely and 100% optional. Every thought I have is, and that’s been very empowering for me to every thought we have is totally optional. And so if I choose to see something as stressful or if I choose to think this is happening and that’s okay, it’s, and decide how you’re gonna deal with it, are you going to deal with it by screaming and losing the plot? Right. Or are you going to deal with it? That phrase losing the plot. So Scottish, but yeah, so he can either do that and then that not only affects you but everybody who happens to be around you. I don’t lose the plot Angela! Or you look at it for what is, and, and it’s not at a reaction. It’s not just an an instant reaction. You, you read what’s happened and you decide what is the best way to, to deal with what you’ve, you’ve been served.

21:51 So it’s, um, again, that’s a very proactive thing that you have to do, and we will, we’ll, we’ll look in a ways of retraining your brain almost. Yeah, it is retraining. It’s managing your mind. You know, that is something that we, uh, learned a bit about, uh, over the last year especially and really understanding that our brains, I, it’s really been fascinating for me. Boy, I tell you, if I had to, if I got to go back, I think some of the asks on social media recently, and I saw it, it’s like if you could go back to school right now and get any degree you want it, it was fully paid for. And, and I was like, oh, neuroscience. Yes. Yeah. I know. I’m like, that’s, I mean, I know. Yeah. And we’ve had some, we’ve had some fabulous guests that is like, oh my gosh, you do this.

22:42 Yeah. Yeah. It’s, it’s fascinating. And, and really relatively new information, which is, I think, that’s the most fascinating thing about it because, you know, well, it wasn’t that long ago, people thought that that was you. You were set, you were born with this many brain cells and they deteriorated from the day go. Yeah. And by the time you were grown, if you were, if you were, you know, once your brain was fully grown, when you’re an adult, that it was, yeah, that was done. So, so all of this new information and how you can, you know, the neuroplasticity of your brain. I was just going to use that same word! Look at us with the big words, you know, but being able to, you know, adapt and impact. Yeah. It’s just, it’s this unbelievable, it’s so interesting. And the fact that people get to do that as their job is pretty cool.

23:46 Cool. Yeah. Yeah. But it’s almost a job for us. I mean, we get to do this. It’s super exciting. We love it. And I think that that’s why the habit mindset became important to us. It’s just because once we understood the power of the human brain and how important habits are to the human brain and how important that human brain is, uh, and different, right? I mean, what separates us as people from the rest of the mammals in the world is our prefrontal cortex and our ability to plan for the future, to make decisions that are based on what we want in the future and not just a primitive, instinctual reaction. Existence. Yeah. Right. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to do, but it is how we can do it. Right? It is something that we are uniquely capable of doing that, that the birds and the bees can’t.

24:51 So that I think is incredibly inspiring. It’s also informationally relevant as your aging. That’s the deal. So many people as they start to age really see things in a decline mode and for sure, you know, the body does is where deny that that for sure. Yeah. That that for sure does happen. You, you, you know, and the whole process of cells, dying and reproducing the, they don’t reproduce a this the same, right? It’s just the way of way of the, right. That’s why we have wrinkles and aches and pains. Right. But you have to do your best to maintain your body both physically and mentally and by carrying out these habits every day on a like on a regular basis. Yeah. That’s the whole thing. Yeah. Habit, regular consistency equals, you know, you are, and I think Rachel Hollis, I just saw quote by her recently that said, the quality of your life equals the quality of your habits.

26:04 So you may have a habit of eating cookies and ice cream every evening after dinner. If that’s what serves you, then that’s a good habit to keep for the rest of your life. You know, just as long as not like a tub of ice cream, whole packet cookies. And that’s the whole thing, you know, you, I think that that’s what’s so important, right. Habits. You, you, that we’re gonna share, um, as we go through this season, some, uh, resources on figuring out exactly like first of all, looking at your life and really determining what you do. That is a habit, right? And then trying to figure out whether or not that habit is actually serving you or no. Yeah. Right. And the serving you equals if depends upon what your goals are, right. But the goal is not, ultimately, again, you will become whatever you do consistently.

27:03 So at the end of your life, if you want to be a cookie and ice cream eater, then you know. Woo hoo, you’ve done it. But, and that’s, you know, and maybe that’s, and if you’re not diabetic and if you’re not overweight, then that’s goodness sake. And I’m always a great believer and it’s like you hear about all these different, diets is an easy one to pick on. And well, yes. And that’s why we stay in clear. We steer clear of it usually. So diets, I am a great believer in not restricting. Like you get people say that’s it, I’m cutting out all chocolate all cookies, whatever. And you’re like, yeah You, you might do that for a week, maybe two weeks, right? Maybe three weeks. But then you go back and you go, oh, I’ve not eating chocolate for three weeks, so let me have four bars, you know, so I’m like, I don’t like that whole restriction thing.

27:59 It’s like, okay, you don’t, you want to cut back on the chocolate or whatever else, but you can still have a bite of chocolate. And again, that takes great will power, if you have a problem with eating too much chocolate. But I think again, it’s back to what serves you. If, if you feel good and you just need a little bite of chocolate that makes you feel good, then have the little bite of chocolate, don’t remove it, things that you know that make you feel good, you know, it’s, and that’s, yeah. Moderation. Yeah. And it’s really why we started five for life, why we created the habits, why we chose the habits that we chose. Like I said, it was a combination of seeing things that worked by watching the things that my dad has done over the, over his last 40 50 years. Also the science behind what he’s done and, and really combating the fears that people have about getting older.

29:00 So that part of it is all great. The things that we’re going to talk about this season, this habit mindset can be applied to so much of your life because ultimately people that consistently do things consistently have habits and those quality habits, yeah. They are the ones that have the quality lives that you want to be living. So whether it’s our five habits that we know are proven to help you live happier longer. Yeah. And the, and the habits even within that, like for the move, for example, somebody who walks every day, somebody who bikes three times a week, you know, whatever that happened, maybe it’s, you know, there’s so many, you know, little versions of it within each of our five habits. You know, just figuring out what that is, what that is for you and how you can make that work for you and make it happen for you.

29:58 Right. And I consistent basis. And that’s really the bottom line. We are going to be talking a lot about the science of habits, how you can build good habits, how you can break bad habits and really hopefully put together a blueprint that people can use to focus in on whatever habits are most important. We think that living a happier, longer life is a pretty good, decent goal. That’s legit, right? And we know that the five habits that we talk about will help you get there. That regardless, building a habit mindset, super important and a part of and that’s, and that’s why it’s been, it’s kind of a dual purpose as we head into season two here.

30:44 Well that I think is a wrap for episode 41. yeah, no, don’t bother. So, uh, we will see you guys next week and as always, thanks for listening.

31:02 Thanks for listening to the live happier, longer podcast. Now it’s time to in move, learn, share, give and let go. Five daily actions to make the rest of your life the best of your life. See you next week.

31:20 We’re so happy to have you here and hope you’re enjoying our podcast. If you haven’t done it already, we hope you’ll hit the subscribe button and if you can even take a minute and leave us a review, that would be fantastic. Plus, we would love for you to follow us on all of our social media where you can find us at the habit mindset on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. And one more thing before you go, if you would like a free copy of the habit mindset poster, just send us a quick note to info@fiveforlife.co , that’s info@fiveforlife.co put the subject line “free poster” and you’ll get yours today. See you next week.